Hello all..

I just want a place to totally bare my heart.. Because right now too much is going on that I cannot handle them all.

First, about my love life. Okay, I have this steady boyfriend of 3 years, named Rohit. We have our share of fights but in the end we are in a pretty good relation. He is leaving for another state in a few hours for a better job, and still he has promised to keep our relation alive and well. And I trust him. This is a relation that could be on its way to the altar..

But there is also this other guy, my first die-hard crush from high school, named Sanjay, let us call him J for short. J knew about my crush back then (6 years back, to be exact) but he didn't like me and rejected me. Okay, so I was fat and tomboyish and all that back then..

Yet 6 years later, even now, I still cant bear the way my heart beats faster and my knees go weak when I spot him or even hear his name mentioned..

Yesterday I met J in a get together of my school friends.. We talked.. And played.. And actually were more friendly than we have been in any of the former get togethers..(We have one every 6 months) And he told me I look great etc etc... (So I have lost more than a few pounds and gained more than a little femimine charm and grace since my school days.. And, though I don't mean to sound boastful, since I have promised myself to be honest here, I must say this - people usually find me attractive these days.)

To make matters worse - or better - I have started taking driving lessons right in front of his home. He saw me today and waved. Also added me in yahoo messenger..

I don't know if he likes me at all, and I think he knows about Rohit and me, but all the same I cant stop thinking about him.... I even dreamt of him last night...

And now I am having a kind of crush attack .. similar to the ones I have always had in school and during all those other get togethers. I hope this one won't last.. I do love Rohit.. He is a great guy.. I wish I knew how to control this absolute loss of control of my heart whenever I think, see or hear of him - always for the past 6 years. Is there a cure for me?????

Can you please, please help me?????

Hugs,
Dyuti.